Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Two Women and One Outlaw !!

I dont know why Ladies love Outlaws.
I'm basically a nice guy (ceptin the men gunned down and a few bank jobs) other than that I just try to be a good guy...But lately I have been propositioned by more women in the same week than I have in all my younger years...(maybe it's my beer gut and they think its a sack of cash) Anyway this good looking gal has been actively pursuing me but the timing was always wrong.
Well Kate (thats her name) noticed my Beer Gut and figured Her way to my heart was thru my stomach so she made me a fantastic looking cake and brought it to me...When she showed up at my hide-out (remember the bad timing?) I was currently having a drink with a gal that was two shots of tequilla away from jumping up on the table naked and doin the wild monkey dance. when all the sudden Kate walked in the door with a delicious looking cake. She was just a bit surprised to find Edith climbing up on the table with a shotglass in one hand and her blouse in the other. Now let me tell you one thing about me...I have always been a man who could handle a situation (usually with a little gun play) so I wispered to Edith that Kate had brought her a birthday cake so she would figure thats why Kate showed up... Then being the coniving bastard I am,I told Kate that Edith was a little tipsy and wanted to pretend she was a stripper in a night club but was a little shy and wanted me to pretend to be a customer (I LOVE ROLL PLAYING!)
Edith got up and stripped down to her panties (looked like colored butt floss) and then asked if I wanted a Lap dance!!! Well Hell yea! but Kate was starting to give my those go to hell looks and I told Edith that it would'nt be such a good idea cause in a strip club you were not allowed to touch the dancers and with two good-looking gals in the room I didnt trust myself to obey the rules (neither did sheriff Pat Garret) but Kate suggested it would be okay if my hands were tied,which totally caught me by surprise because of the looks she was giving me earlier.
So Kate tied my hands to the chair so I couldn't break the rules and Edith climbed up and straddled my lap putting her feet on the seat of my chair and proceeded to sway and bend and squat and girate and Kate could see my excitment in the form of a pup tent in my wranglers and asked if I wanted to touch Edith... Well Hell YEA! but she then reminded me of the rules and my promise to the Govorner of New Mexico and said SHE would touch her since my hands were tied and I wouldn't be breaking any rules... Well that wasn't actually what I had in mind but (in my twisted mind) I had an Idea! If Kate started rubbin all over this fine lookin woman I would be in like flint for a threesome by the time the game was over, so I agreed. I told her to touch her breast first and then slide her hand around to her tummy, Kate did just that and I thought this was cooler than a desert morning in a cave....then when I directed her to another spot, all the sudden it was like she wasn't listening...then I noticed Edith had taken Kate's Face and pushed it Hard into her firm breast and Edith had started undressing Kate and before I knew it the two of them were on the floor twisting and wiggling and rubbing each other like two Possum's in a gunny sack fightin to get free... I hollered for Kate to untie me but instead she shoved a handful of cake in my face to shut me up which gave her an Idea...
Both gals started rubbing cake all over each other and licking it off and here I am tied up like a fool. after a few hours they took a shower together (not that there was any cake left on either one of them) ... I suspect they were still working each others kinks out til I finally got free and found they had crawled out the window....DAMN...I missed out on one hell of a time...but when I got out of the shower I found one piece of cake left on the kitchen table with a recipe next to it..
The name of the cake you won't believe ...."better than sex"... bullshit ..it is not!! but it is good!!
so the morale of the story must be...
You can have your cake and eat it too!!! But you can't have your Kate and Edith too!



Better than Sex ?


Billy the Kid

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